She is crying
On the road to go back, letting to be bright and beautiful can't help wailing at last, she sat in the back seat of the taxi, have it on the face that a wisp of sunshine throws her, she cries crying out, can hear the sound by oneself while crying to. It is spring, everywhere is turning green, everybody took off the thick cotton to put, begin to change some fresh colors. She has thought of the wood for week, thought of the village city, thought of Tang in the east and raised, she even thought of that boy that her boyhood is in unrequited love with. These shuttled back and forth in her life, the person closely related to her emotion, after years, have already become a certain ambiguous symbol drifting apart, is similar to the totem of her life, each totem represents a period of special years of her. Perhaps she no longer has any lifelike emotion to them, but she will not forget them all one's life, they are important like that, as to her. She expect Xun to be little and American later on, think of Willie He, expect, come into she those familiar names of life ever, come and go, the whole story, some have already lost contact, some have some fragmentary contact, some have even already forgotten names, these people have all influenced her life more or less, then answered a curtain call again. She remember one's own Papa and Mama, she wandering these years, kindred seem preciousness then in her view, she is unable to stay at their side, go to accompany them to spend gradually old years, she feels ashamed and regretful limitlessly, except write oneself fragmentarily to them at some money obtained, she everything unable to offer they, she only can make, simple thing so. She is so sad as to be unable to breathe.
She thought of river Beichuan finally, 27 years and most important man in the life of hers, he bring she, like so simple just absolutely not, she become so can't bear, not so acridding now, she in how injure that piece love man of her as before! They spend in quarrelling over and cold war in whole winter, noisy unexpectedly, it is the trifling it can't bear noisy,it becomes to be the so narrow that can shake by oneself she,she even calculate leave recent time. Then, leave should where does it go, where is her calm place that shelters oneself, can she really leave river Beichuan? Does she have then independence which herself imagines?
She is crying, it seems that her life is really to make her sad like this, she cries to and begins to sob oneself. She is not sure, whether he entertains confidence to her yet, their relation has not been already complete, all is by what she causes.
